Here’s why it’s a good thing…
I remember learning about mental illness in high school, specifically depression and anxiety, and not being able to comprehend what people actually suffer through. Flash forward to this year and I feel like I have a new outlook on life. Why? Because I hit my rock bottom. I won’t dive into specifics of what happened, but I was nearing my breaking point as the end of my senior year of college approached. I was not speaking to my family at home, I was involved in a toxic relationship and I caught my GPA slipping.
For the past four years, I had been on my grind, maintaining mostly A’s and B’s, working multiple jobs at a time and balancing a healthy relationship with both friends and family. Until this past year hit, I feel like I was unknowingly living in this bubble. Things began to go south at the beginning of my last semester. And they just kept going south. And just when I thought I caught a break, I was met with yet another hurdle. The entire semester, I was facing a new challenge. Whether it be as minor as my car being towed or as major as losing a childhood friend, life seemed to have no give. I am not going to sit here and pretend that I kept my composure in the midst of this chaos— I had many tears, many outbursts and many therapy sessions. Hitting my own rock bottom sucked… ALOT. But, and this is going to sound cliche at best, hitting this low rebuilt my character.
I had many reality checks and did a lot of self introspection. But, I came out a changed person. In the midst of this past semester, I had entered into a depressive state and forgot how to take control of my life. Then, I realized that only I am in control of my life. Bad things are going to happen to good people. Everyone faces hurdles, you just have to be determined enough to find that light at the end of the tunnel. I realized my life was not going to get better without change, so I began changing my life.
For starters, I began meeting weekly with my therapist. I also started journaling… journaling is huge and I will touch on that in a later post. As I started turning around my own negative mental state, I also realized that the outside world I let into my personal life made a huge impact. I deleted social media for six months after struggling with body dysmorphia and constant comparisons. I cut out negative people from my life too, and although this hurt, I knew in the long run it would improve my own self. I have been attempting to be a more empathetic person as well, trying to watch how I treat others and the energy I put into the world. I have become a firm believer in the idea that your life is what you make it, and this goes for our emotional state too— I am in control of my thoughts and emotions. However, I was not able to learn any of this had it not been for me hitting my rock bottom.
Until you hit your lowest point, happiness is taken for granted. Many things are actually taken for granted. But this is all appreciated that much more when you start building yourself back up. This isn’t to say I won’t hit another low in my life, but I find comfort in the fact I made it through. So to anyone out there facing hurdle after hurdle, just remember that every strong building requires a strong base, and your rock bottom provides a great base to an even greater life.
